Alright. So, are you ready for my first story? I don't think you can handle it. However, this story tends to get some laughs and apparently it's my best story so I thought it would be a good way to start things off. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to have your mind blown!
My first year of University I was very shy, timid, and slightly socially awkward. I do well when it's one-on-one hanging out, but put me in a group of people and I go silent. I tend to listen to what others have to say and if on the rare event that I do have something to say, I speak up.
One of my classes was in PE250 (Largest classroom on campus. 300ish seats?) One dreaded day we had a guest Prof. that wanted to do a little experiment. So he asked for 3 volunteers. I, being the way I was slouched down in my seat, looked away and went into my happy place while all the eager beavers raised their hands and practically fought to the death to get picked. It was almost like that scene in Mean Girls when all those 'teens' are at the fountain in the mall. Yeah. The Prof. had no intention of picking any of the students who raised their hands. He wanted to put people in a situation where they had to do something against there will... You know, kind of like rape. (Bad joke. Lord, I apologize)
Now, I tend to have bad luck when it comes to, well, anything really. I got the nickname Murphy in High School. You know, like Murphy's Law "Anything That Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong". I blame 'Good Luck Chuck' for that one.
With my luck (Or lack there of) I was the third one chosen. My heart stopped. Reluctantly, I get out of my seat and walk down the stairs. I can feel 300 beady little eyes watching my every move thinking "Damn, who's that sexy guy up there?" Oh, that's just me. So as I'm walking I started to get a little nervous. 5 more steps, 4 more steps, 3 more steps, 2 more steps, 1. more. step. BAM! Fall. My nightmare had come true.
Now this fall, was not your typical stumble and run out of. This was a full blown, flat on your face, play dead to make you feel better fall. THERE WAS AN UPROAR OF LAUGHTER. Even the Prof was laughing. And he had a microphone so his laugh is over powering everyone elses. My first thought was... "What the hell just happened?" But I was laughing too, 'cause lets face it. If you can't laugh at yourself you have no right to laugh at anyone elses misfortune. And I love to laugh at other peoples misfortune. It's one of my dirty pleasures in life. So I'm not going to lie, I was laughing pretty hard. When the Prof. finally asked me if I was okay and helped me up, I couldn't answer 'cause I was laughing so hard. The laughter in the class had died down a bit. He asked again if I was okay. I was still in shock. It all happened so fast, it was all such a blur. So I go to answer again... I take a breath in... and I snorted. I NEVER SNORT WHEN I LAUGH. True FML moment.
The Prof. sent me back to my seat 'cause I'm pretty sure he felt I went through enough pain staking humiliation for one day. So I walk back to my seat and I made sure I wasn't going to stumble or fall again. I had no friends in this class yet so when I got back to my seat I couldn't turn to my friend beside me and be like "Did you just see what happened?" To which they would reply "Yes I did. Along with everyone else in the class" I sat down and laughed by myself. Some people joined in but it felt like they were more so laughing at the gong show I just put on.
So that's my first story. I hope you enjoyed. I mean, I am a Drama Major so really, I have freaky, odd, scary, encounters almost every day. And you know what? I love it.
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